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by Staci Rosenberg, APOGEE Life Coach

Many of my life-coaching clients have a wish list that looks nothing like their to-do list. They wish they could spend more time with family and friends; wish they had more time for fun; wish they could develop a long-term, loving relationship.

But their calendar says work, work, work. Even their family time is all about chores.

My prescription: Have a summer fling! There is no time like summer to loosen up, expand your horizons and live the life you dream of. Whether you want to meet people, spend time with friends and family, exercise more or just relax and read a book or knit, now’s the time. But how?

1. Schedule a date for your fling.
If you find time to complete work projects, answer e-mails and stay current with TV shows, you have time for a summer fling. Take out your calendar and make an appointment with yourself or friends: Plan a walk before breakfast or after dinner; block out a Saturday morning for a hike or bike ride. Make your fling as important as an appointment with your boss or doctor.

2. Change something about yourself.
If your wishes aren’t coming true now, you need to change. If you always wear black, choose a color. If you always look serious, try smiling in public for a day or two or wear a silly t-shirt to your exercise class.  If you never go to art shows, museums or concerts, now might be the time to start.

3. Take advantage of the summer warmth and light.
Just go outside! Once you’re out of the house, office or car, it’s easy to make an evening or afternoon—even your coffee break—special. You can sip a cup of tea or dine outside, plan a picnic in a park, walk to your destination instead of drive, or stroll your neighborhood until dusk. Slow down and experience the space you’re in.

4. Connect with people who are already having a summer fling.
It can be tough to invent a summer fling by yourself, so join one already in progress. Accept an invitation; attend a free outdoor concert, play or art opening; join a hiking or bicycling club—invite friends, your spouse or child. Try a Zumba class at APOGEE. Once you’re in a group, look around, join in and have fun.

Need inspiration? Follow the words of Henry David Thoreau , who wrote, “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined.” 

by Jennifer Vagios, RD
APOGEE’s Dietitian

Have you ever said, “I’m going eat well, starting today!” Of course that’s an admirable goal: Your health, energy and weight will benefit from a diet of whole, natural, unprocessed foods. But such a sweeping, all-or-nothing plan is hard to achieve.

Don’t get me wrong: It’s important to have a target to motivate you and provide a focus. But goals without practical steps may set you up for failure. I help my clients at APOGEE by making sure their goals are SMART –that is, Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely. And once you’ve reached your goal (and I promise you will), you can build on it.  Here’s how to make sure your plan is SMART.

Specific
Your goal is specific if you can ask yourself: what will happen, where and when. For example,  “I will eat a healthful breakfast of fruit and yogurt at home four days this week,” and  “I will bring a salad to work for lunch two days this week” are specific. A non-specific goal is, “I will start eating better lunches.”  The what is the food, the where is at home or at work and the when is four times this week.

Measureable
Your goal is measurable if you can ask yourself: How will I know I’ve reached this goal? The simplest way to quantify your goal is to include a number: Three lunch salads a week or four breakfasts. Then, choose a timeframe: “I will eat a healthful breakfast of fruit and yogurt at home four days this week.” If you achieve the goal, extend the timeframe—for two weeks or until the end of the month, for example.

Attainable
Make your goals small-scale and you’ll achieve success. For example, it’s tough to go from never eating breakfast at home to always eating breakfast at home. Instead, try the new behavior two days a week. Succeed at that, and within a month you’ll be more likely to be practicing the new behavior most days of the week.

Timely
A goal should have a time frame—so there is sense of urgency to complete it—and a beginning and an end. “This week, I’m going to eat a salad at lunch on Monday, Wednesday and Friday,” is timely and specific. Plus, success will come quickly when you have an end date in the not-too-distant future.

Realistic
Be certain that you are willing and able to make the changes you need to in order to achieve your goal. It’s not realistic to say you will never eat cake or chips again! Instead, look at your life: If you’re eating cake every night now, perhaps you can cut back to cake once a week and fruit on other nights. If you’re snacking on corn chips every day, perhaps you can switch to crunchy vegetables on weeknights and corn chips on the weekend. Being realistic sets you up for success.

Good luck being SMART! Let us know how this style of goal-setting works for you by posting a comment here or on our Facebook page.

If there’s one thing in a woman’s life that stays the same, it’s change: From adolescence to young adulthood, to motherhood and beyond, a woman’s body changes every month. Decade by decade, our roles evolve at work, in our communities, and in our relationships with parents and children.

With change being such a constant, it’s important to take a look at how you negotiate the cycles and evolutions of life. “If you’re self aware, you can use times of change as positive, transformative experiences,” says APOGEE life coach Persephone Zill. But the twists and turns of life can be stressful for many. “How you dealt with change in the past is a pretty good indicator of how you will deal with it in the future,” says Persephone.

How you cope now: Your most valuable asset is your attitude about change. “You need to be able to recognize how you cope with change so you can develop ways to help yourself that work best for you,” says Zill. “Look at something like the recent economic downturn—how did you react to that?” Perhaps you were able to make adjustments, dial back in certain areas, or find satisfaction from simpler things. But if you tend to run away and hide out—by watching TV, surfing the internet, overeating, drinking alcohol, or overworking—then you may be missing out on opportunities to embrace change and find satisfaction from new behaviors and new ways of being. Mind-body exercise, such as yoga, Pilates and meditation, can help you develop more of an observing self-awareness of yourself and your attitudes about life events.

Identify your resources: To be certain you have a full range of tools to negotiate change, Persephone recommends looking at six areas of your life: physical/nutritional, family, social, mental, work/ finance and spiritual. (You can draw a circle and make each area a section, like pieces of a pie.) If each area is vital and satisfying, it has the potential to be a resource for you to draw on during times of change, says Persephone. But if an area is dormant or even a source of friction, it can deplete your energy and throw the whole pie out of balance, limiting your ability to deal with life’s shifts.

Achieve balance: As a life coach, Persephone helps women identify goals for areas of their life that are currently lacking. Paying attention to one or two neglected areas can enrich and energize the rest of your life, she says. “Exercise can help you sleep better and be more aware of how you react to stress,” she says. “Pursuing a hobby or a creative interest can create additional energy and open-mindedness that you can then use at work or with your family.”

Develop your life balance, says Persephone, and you’ll have the resources to adjust to change—or at least recognize that difficult situations will pass in time.

To learn about exercise, nutrition and life-coaching tools that will help during mid-life, peri-menopause and menopause, attend our free workshop, Embracing Change, on June 22 at APOGEE Bedford Hills. Learn more.

If you never seem to have enough time to exercise, perhaps hours and minutes aren’t the issue. Instead, examine why you want to work out regularly. If your reasons aren’t truly important to you, then you are unlikely to make the changes in your schedule to allow the time you need.

The key word is passion, says APOGEE life coach Staci Rosenberg. “Lack of passion and uncertainty about what it is you want—those two things combined lead to lack of success.” says Rosenberg.

For example, you might consider that exercise is a route to a shapely body, especially at this time of year when bathing suit season is right around the corner. But if you never put on a suit, then it may be hard to truly care about how you look in this year’s bikini. Likewise, it would be hard to make time to train for a marathon when you don’t have one on your schedule.

Instead, dig deep to discover what it is you truly desire. “Ask yourself: what will this mean to me? You have to identify the personal meaning for you—through writing or dialogue with another person,” says Rosenberg. Look at the other benefits you get from exercise: People who exercise regularly fall asleep faster and sleep better than those who don’t. Exercise is also as effective as antidepressants in lifting mood and can help you moderate stress. Those benefits may be more meaningful to you.

Then, says Rosenberg, create a personal statement that includes your passion and the steps you will take to attain it. Here’s how.

1. Connect your goal to your passion. Create a statment; here’s a sample: “When I exercise regularly, I sleep better and can handle stress during the day.”
2. Identify the specific steps to get to your goal. “I go to Zumba class on Monday and Wednesday; cardio on Thursday; and take a long walk on Sunday.”
3. Put your goal statement in front of you. You might write it on a sticky note and put it on the visor of your car or make it the wallpaper on your cellphone, Blackberry or laptop—put it wherever you will see it several times a day. Then it gets absorbed, Rosenberg says.

Of course, you may want to make time for more than exercise: Painting, writing, reading, playing a sport, hiking, traveling, or playing music may be your passion. “When people make time for something they really love, it affects their entire life,” says Rosenberg. Inserting passion into your life creates balance and makes every hour of every day more enjoyable.

Get more tips from APOGEE life coaches at our upcoming open houses: March 25 in White Plains and March 31 in Bedford Hills.

Here comes Thanksgiving, with its mega-portions of planning, shopping, chopping and travel mixed with heaping helpings of friends and family. A wonderful holiday, but handling everything—and everyone—can be stressful, too. There are ways to dial down the stress levels: Physical exercise is one. Remembering happy events is another—specifically, keeping a gratitude journal. Writing just a sentence or two about what you are grateful for is proven to boost your mood and outlook—and could even help you fight off colds and flu.

The health benefits of expressing thanks have been studied extensively. “Research confirms what many spiritual traditions tell us: regularly expressing gratitude increases well-being,” says APOGEE’s integrative health advisor, Woodson Merrell, M.D. As an integrative doctor, Merrell considers the emotional, spiritual, dietary, environmental, and lifestyle influences that can affect health and healing. “A sense of well-being has been found to positively affect good health and immune function,” says Merrell. “Well-being enhances the release of antibodies responsible for fighting off viruses and improves important markers of cardiovascular health.”

The key is to identify and write down one thing you’re thankful for, whether it’s the fact that a grocery store clerk was helpful, your brother has offered to bring dessert to Thanksgiving or just the fact that the sun is shining and warm. Write your gratitude statements anytime and anywhere that’s convenient: on the back of your shopping list, or in your calendar or send them to yourself via e-mail. It’s best if you don’t analyze why you’re thankful—just acknowledge it.

We’re thankful for this opportunity to spread the word about simple actions that can make people feel good. We’ll post more messages about the healing power of gratitude this week. Feel free to write your gratitude statements as comments on this blog or Facebook page, or via Twitter.